This is going to give away that I am a pseudo-intellectual faux intelligentsia nincompoop, but I read, I love, I think….. and of all the cultural texts, philisophical texts, theology classes, conversation, debates, listening to others…. I happily admit I am lost.
I am an atheist. It pains me to say, not because we are the most persecuted culture, religion, belief system in history…. but it gives away the searing pain I struggle with in regards to mortality, the bittersweet human struggle & condition, as well as the lack of consolation my other belief sets offer…. I love the idea of being nice to people, but the aching reminder of just how lonely exist will ultimately be in that you will lose everyone that has ever meant anything to you through the natural process of entropy, cellular degeneration, and a host of complex other issues.
Atheists not only don’t “do” weddings, they have to hide behind veils with less of a stigma – like humanist.
I am a humanist…. but those officiants seem remarkably scant, as well as a bit goofy. Not sure why that it is… or where I have gotten that feeling from…. but I stick by it. Not always reliable, not always profound. I think it is possible they can conceive of the depth of love, but like sand from the top of a dune float from one place to the next searching for a home they may never find. Our minds need to settle down just as our bodies and families do… it provides consistency, refuge…. sometimes humanists haven’t resolved our lack of belief… and it makes us incomplete.
I might be a pantheist, depending on who you talk to. Getting this obscure into beliefs is likely a waste of time.
Lauren is a recovering Roman Catholic, a joy to find in that I always looked for misbehaved heavily tattooed women for a wild time, and lo and behold it was simply a good ex-Catholic that knows how to throw down behind closed doors. How simple, and how misguided I was. Recovering to the point of spirituality along the lines of a Yupik or native philosophy that involves people, the world, and the idea that this much energy ebbing around us has got to mean *something* bigger, coupled with the same bitter agony that there must be more…. how can love like this resolve it’s lack of permanence? How can a real love pass into parting electrons and an unnameable ether….. it is a beautiful, noble, grace filled poise that suggest ones mind doesn’t need to spin relentlessly into the unknown…. the fact is that it can be *just* that…. unknown. It isn’t for us to decide. A resolute, kind hearted, doughy eyed determination to not know… but trust.
Her family being heavily religious was quizzically questioning how we were getting married outside, “when there is no church to get married in”. The idea of nature as a church escapes many, and I respect the profound influence organized religion has had on their inability to break norm…. that is the nature of the pious and devout… unquestioning, unwaveringly loyal, with a pinch of “I am going to ignore common sense or others’ values”. Kind, endlessly giving, but relentlessly convoluted with their beliefs of what is good for us……… we found ourselves in a pickle.
A friend, or a non-ordained person, would likely sting of another slap to the face, a right hand on top of the left hand that slapped with a lack of church or proper arena to be married (per them, not us).
So we found a suggested middle ground… “White Robed Monks of St. Benedict“ pardon the size.. it was copied. They are like a splinter group from the Roman Catholic church that are buddhist, humanist, of all faiths, and will marry ANYONE, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME… in the name of love. That is awesome, and what we wanted. But I agree the idea of a friend, acquaintance, parent… is so much more meaingful. The idea of having someone that doesn’t know who you are, the situation, etc…. I don’t know… it seems impersonal.
However I have been at religious ceremonies that passed around tithe plates…. so traditional religion’s modicum of respect or grace in the name of love is … well… limited. In fact… all the organized church is doing is marrying people in the name of GOD.. so they can make you more fearful of your child being pure, or scared enough to stay with the church. It isn’t about love… it’s about God.
What’s so funny is that it isn’t about that cat at all. In fact… he knows it… and might prefer a saturday afternoon with feet up on a porch with a beer looking at his sun setting on his mountains… I doubt he cares to intercede with someone’s marriage. Unless he likes the open bar, and doesn’t mind sneaking in and having some fun without drawing attention away from the cute couple.
So I think this was an active endorsement of the concept of finding a respectful middle ground for in attendance. If you are getting married, and struggle with so many of these complex beliefs and institutions…. you quite possible will like to give them a ring.
Cheers. Now hug someone. Toodles.
That being said, I got off a long layover today, and I have had a bit of a beverage this afternoon hence the loquacious pendantic antics….
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