I don’t know where else to put this… “I send two emails.”

I have been thinking about it a lot lately – my prolific waste of effortless over-correspondence.  My friend Justin, not even on this list, says he can’t watch videos at work. So he queue’s up emails from me, and as it’s not just about me, and other people… to watch at a later time. That sucks. I) that one might live a life that regulates your productivity with such spite and distrust that you aren’t allowed to succeed for your company at your leisure (this is a jab, because I wasted a decade on 15 hour days or whatever), II) It’s like homework… I hate homework. It’s one of the reasons I hate facebook in all it’s giddy glory… all the worthless viral vids you would have seen in a different manner, or all the really worthwhile thoughts and conversation from friends that would have occurred via a different venue…… & it still feels like homework half the time. “Damnit gotta reply to another message in another inbox”. But I ramble.. that’s facebook… this is email… and it sucks that these things may stack up, or some of you brave souls have felt the cleanse of a search for “unclefishbits@gmail.com” and “delete all”. I know some of you have filters… those pretty filters that tame the wiley inbox. It is obvious that you are cheating. I won’t be ignored.

And you can’t stop me. I can become sentient, aware of what I do to you people (a recent development, I assure you), and wholly own the misery I make you trudge through, like sludge and immobile boots that keep you so firmly suctioned that your foot slips out of it. And if you made it to the end of this one… I tell you… well done. Your reward is yet, another, email… but one you needn’t reply to.

I send two emails in the morning, I send two emails at night. I send two emails in the afternoon, and then I feel alright. I send two emails at times of peace, and at times of war. I send two emails before I send two emails, and then I send two more.