last year we were talking about making fuel as simple as possible.  I remember way back in aught-4 we were next to some lovers giving out Cliff bar stuff, and someone gave me a bevy of these pudding shots of fuel.  It was awesome.  I hadn’t eaten in about 30 hours, and I took one 2 oz shot out of a little “on the go” cardboard paper container and it felt like what red bull would feel like if it made you full and gave you real energy.

And we were talking about how all the shit you have for the end of the week is fucked up by ice water… it seeps into everything.

It even seeped into that vacuum sealed salmon, which is why we cooked it when we did (if I remember correctly.. still best meal I have ever seen at BM since the 20th century).

That being said, we were speaking with Andy from Sports Authority (who I am currently tracking down… I don’t know if I want to camp without them.  Satellite phones?  fucking a.  Bourgeois?  Who cares.  I saved money by cancelling hotel reservations.  Screw you.)

He said that the easiest thing in the world is that vacuum sealer.

You can vacuum pack whole halves of cooked pizza… or multiple sandwiches… etc.

IT IS SO MUCH BETTER.

I want fuel that goes from cooler to gullet in enough time to get me back out in the sea of madness.

So… make sure you don’t leave the fish mongering hook ups too idle, dearest heffe.

Rattle your saber and shake your cane…. push hard, dear brother.

If I come across one… or any of you (if you are still reading)… we shall purchase that mother… and use it for our delicious comestibles.

Bet you didn’t think I would use that word, did you?

Anyhoo… I think, as the salmon was a fishy success, this year we plan a wine and cheese party.  Apres-tifs that might shame the Carne Armada!  Have you seen those coolers that regulate temperature as plugged in to the car lighter?

I think we need to look out for that, Mike.  ‘Specially cause me pops is the one who will decapitate your wine necks if you haven’t rescued them by August.

I say a covert ops mission to get them where they need to go.  Our tummmmmmmies.  What is that, like 90 bottles?

To be sure, I want a reply to this message, so I will ask a question.

Think of Andy from SA, or other little badass luxuries that make the “painful and dry and fucked up damaging” week in the desert better.

chapstick.

darrin.. get your own.  It always feels weird on my lips after you use it on your asshole.  gay boy.

Anyhoo…. I want replies.  I want vacuum suction!!!  I want to leave you alone….. all of you….

but I can’t.

About Uncle Fishbits

I'm.. just this guy, you know?

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