Comfort Zoned, regarding being Naked & Lost.

As I age – I note that I wrap myself in comfort zones like one would wrap themselves in a country’s flag. I hope my beliefs, and what I think I know or identify with, will protect me – keeping others at arm’s length by wearing these things in an obvious manner. I found myself protectionist against other belief sets, reacting against things I deemed ludicrous, or activities that seemed risky. What challenged me even more was the notion of others finding wanton meaning and passion in these abstract concepts that were outside my ability to understand, namely religion.

Quite recently, I noted my ability to use rationalism and grounded skeptical behavior to fence sit. At first, it was in the most eloquent of manners, such as described by Mr. Feynman:

“In any organization there ought to be the possibility of discussion… fence sitting is an art, and it’s difficult, and it’s important to do, rather than to go headlong in one direction or the other. It’s just better to have action, isn’t it, than to sit on the fence? Not if you’re not sure which way to go, it isn’t.”
-Richard P. Feynman

Appropriate data gathering, appropriate rational response. It wasn’t a measure of protectionism so much a logical approach to filtering my surroundings and reality. It provides a modicum of comfortable curiosity, and doesn’t limit oneself to believing in any one thing without thoughtful discussion or interpretation of facts, data, and attempting a deeper understanding of every issue or topic imaginable. Then I realized it started to turn into a more cynical approach of not having to explore my feelings or issues in regards to these concepts. It was a way to *not* ponder… to close off discussion with outstretched palm, coldly saying “That’s how it is” and chilling more meaningful discourse. Mr. Feynman would have been quite pissed at me, I think…. limiting myself with a model that can let freedom shine in experiential through the openness of curiosity and awe. Limiting wonder is disgraceful, but compartmentalizing my beliefs, my days, my energy into acceptable bit sized chunks of comprehensible reality was so simple an occurrence… I didn’t even have to try. My mind lazily and simply did it for me.

I have only in the last 5 years or so been able to shed apprehension of putting my comfort zones at risk by being open with head and heart to newer thoughts, or ideas, or concepts. It is with this openness that I have grown more than I ever expected, open eyes to belief systems different than mine, or activities far outside my realm of expectation. Albeit I do not adopt or agree with them, studying and thinking deeply about other cultural belief systems has enriched me in ways I never thought they would.

This, truly, is a stunning post. I was led here, of course, with my perked ears always listening for fans or friends of Wilbur Hot Springs… it seems to be a place where artists, nature lovers, hot spring fans, and other like minded people congregate. As much as I love the Springs, the place is about private adventures and mutual self respect. I strike up a chat with people now and again, but it is rare Lauren & I get to see into the soul and heart of some of the guests, no matter how intimate and family like a regular they may be.

The above blog link calls out to so many of our own experiences, and with this empathy I can see how many are able to relate to the author… the author’s ability with relating moments, thoughts, and words opens us up to learning more about ourselves – just because they were willing to be so open about themselves.

I note the ego is so closely tied to mortality, and the bittersweet concepts of losing our minds or lives…. or dissolving into the ebb flow of time, consumes me. It obviously is powerful to all of us… and there are endless thoughtful ways in dealing with that spectre. I always feel a calm panic to reconnect, listen to myself, and understand how these feelings affect or control me. Some dismiss it, some attempt not to think about it… while I turn pale staring into the dark pools that are it’s metaphoric eyes.

I have experienced the same compulsion to isolate myself into barriers of mundane comfort, just so that I don’t lose my ability to experience life on a physiological or mortal level. In that, I, ironically, shut myself off from living it, in favor of caution and control.

That post has reminded me that there needs to be an awareness in how to live life… and the precariousness that our human ego teeters on, in effect attempting to limit your experience in a way that bolsters your experience and internal self worth. It’s vital to spark the power of emotion and feeling just by stepping a wee bit outside one’s own comfort levels. It is something I hope to focus on and challenge myself with during this year and many more…..

I thank that Wilbur Hot Springs guest for stirring that thought in me, and moving myself to experience life in a more meaningful, deeper context; not just in regards to myself, but in regards to the place I inhabit in a much larger existence….

Stepping out of a comfort zone forces one to nobly cower under our mortal sky…. and realize our place in this universe may be just part of something so large we couldn’t possibly understand, which leads us into the morbid territory of limiting existence. This is done passively, accidentally…. we amble like zombies in our grind to agree to the terms of society’s day in/day out. We start glazing over in our manufactured passion to accomplish tasks, projects, errands. Even going on vacation becomes de-humanizing to some… pine pine pine, plan plan plan, go go go, back to the desk chair the following Monday. It’s time to be wholly self aware, it’s time to blur the ragged edges of your expectations…..

In this comes humble knowledge, and when we shed that ego we can truly blend into the earth and sky and begin to live as part of a broader existence.

Beautiful thoughts from that little linked post above…. I am delighted the end of my week of work culminated in more esoteric, philosophical meanderings than I might have expected. As much as social media can be exhausting, it is always an honor to be propelled into even the slightest level of revelation or catharsis.